Part 1

It's been a minute, been waiting and listening
Biding my time swear this time is different
Blood on the floor, it's not what you think it is
Writings on walls got me losing myself and I'm pissed
Call me an idiot, tell me I'm wrong, tell me I'm ignorant
-Buy me a shot I don't want to remember this, Got No regrets for none of our differences
Looking for doors and windows so I can escape
I'm looking at bones of bodies of men in the corner right next to an array of blades
Keep saying my future is bright but this room so dark that I stepped on the shades
-Tell me I'm free so I can look at you and tell you why I feel like I spend life in a cage
Tell me that I can come out, shit I been looking between these bars for days
I really believe I deserve the pain so I struck up a match and set it ablaze
When I was in middle school momma told me to get over this pain it's only a phase
-At 26 I'm laughing it's funny cause still feel like I'm lost in the maze
And music is my therapy I know that it's funny
Shout out to Nate cuz I must have forgot if it wasn't for him then it probably wouldn't be
Used to want people to like me, that wouldn't help
-What's the point of trying to reach people if I can barely love myself
I look at the world the same as I look at the mirror
It's tainted, dark clouds prevents pictures from getting clearer
I know, you may be thinking I'm crazy, but that's what I call myself
-I live in a world where everybody got they hands out, nobody offering help
Lay in bed I can't sleep, look at food I can't eat
Come to love I aspirate, can barely think
Nobody understands anything that I say anymore
-My head has only been stuck on revenge and settling scores
So what do you do when you hurt, and don't want to speak anymore
Intentions are good but my blood is dirty, you see it come out of my pores
I don't want to be the guy just rapping bout money and banging whores
-That's all I get when I turn on the radio, I don't want to hear anymore
Dove said that the worse thing for your mental health is the isolation
(Prison door slam) But this is incarceration
I don't want to be around people who limited in their conversation
-Like a hospital that's closing its doors, the lights off and I'm losing patience
Have you ever wanted scream out at the top of your lungs
Have you ever wanted to cry about it but tears don't come
Have you ever wanted to change it, I wish I could
-Im rushing the day I can find myself and throw away The Renegade for good
He's all in my head, I had to give him a name
I thought he was just in the comics, but is infesting my brain
So I'm gonna just stand in the corner and be quiet
And let him do the talking in the dead of the silence