A Year of Pain

[Verse]
Year of pain, it's a shame
Don't know what the fuck to do
Tore my heart out, stomp on my brain
Reflection, who the fuck are you?
I'm giving up, I don't care
Life is so meaningless now, I'm shutting down
Nothing means a goddamn thing when you're not around
And I tried so hard, gave it my all
But every little bit of love given has failed
They'll hear my tale, paved in blood
Written in song, embedded in braille
Look at myself like, what the fuck?
I don't do a fucking thing
But hang on a noose in my bedroom with headphones on
I don't hear the doorbell ring
And sex is pointless, all these chicks-
I don't have connection with
I'd rather have sex with my goddamn self
Just me, my hand, my dick, my spit
We're throwing it all down the drain
Like, what? We can't even fuck no more?
I'm sick of this shit, pathetic life
And that's why I don't give a fuck no more
Put a mask on my face, walk through the halls
Grab a knife and live by my law
Don't make yourself look like a fool again
Don't attempt to give her no call
Cause she never gave a fuck, you know she never will
When it came to you, she never was real
You saw more in her than she saw in herself
She says I need help, but she rather pop pills
And hang with these douchebag second hand dicks
On to the next, that's how she lives
But ain't much changed, still going through the same thing
Brand new day, different guy, same shit
So what you expect? You get what you give
And you give very little, let me give you a tip
Ain't no guy gonna put up with your shit like me
Let alone love you like I did
I'm the best that you came across, love that you found
But you just couldn't handle it, you threw it all down
Left me behind like a piece of trash
But I'm still a treasure waiting to be found
I've been waiting for you for a goddamn year
But you're telling me to grow up and stop being selfish
But I am grown up, I'm a 31-year-old man trynna fix this shit, trynna help this
What is so wrong with loving me back?
What is so wrong with hitting the sack?
Fucking our brains out, ain't no shame in our game
Turn the movie back on and kick back
If you wanna smoke, smoke
You wanna toke? Toke
If you wanna do whatever you do, that's fine
But wasting the one thing we can't get back-
Is eternal damnation, wasting time
In a year of pain