Pirate Ship (feat. Smashy Claw & Insane Ian)

[Kyle]
Oh, Hi. It's TV's Kyle
I'm sure you're pleased to see
I'm on the 7 seas
Just Austin, Ian and me

[Ian]
Hey!

[Kyle and Austin]
We're cruising all around on a makeshift sail barge
And we're living large
Although my (his) phone can't recharge
We'd be plundering and stuff
If we felt like getting up

[All]
On our pirate ship

[Kyle and Austin]
We should get by by stealing
But I've (he's) got me (him) a feeling
It don't sound so appealing
So we'll drink some Darjeeling

Austin's (I am) playing the bass
While I lay here on my (he lies there on his) face

[All]
On our pirate ship

[Austin]
Hey-hey, guys, there's kind of a shark over here

[Kyle]
Ian?

[Austin]
Augh!

[Ian]
What?

[Kyle]
Ian, I'm taking a nap, can you do a rap break?

[Ian]
What? You lazy--fine

While Kyle starts nappin', I'll start rappin'
Y'all start clappin', 'cause I'm the captain!
Sailin' around on our pirate ship
You'll walk the plank if ya give me any lip
But we don't have a plank, just a big tire swing
And that's really more for fun than anything
It's great for lounging while we're out in the sun
We like to have fun, no need for plunder-un'
Now what was I sayin'? The sea started sprayin'
And...

[Austin]
Is no one noticing that the shark that is still very near to our boat ate both my arms?

[Kyle]
Oh, hi, it's TV's Kyle and I'm back from my nap
I hope you liked Ian's rap
Now let me get back on track

[Kyle and Austen]
We're sailing across
The seas. We're totally lost

[All]
On our pirate ship

[Kyle and Austin]
Austin (I) caught us a salmon
Which is ending our famine
And it's totally slammin'
I'll try not to examine
That we have no way to cook
What we got from Austin's (my) hook

[All]
On our pirate ship

[Kyle]
Ian, it turns out I'm spent again

[Ian]
What?!

[Kyle]
Please regale us...with the rap thing

[Ian]
It's too hot for this!

So now I'm back, thought I had heat stroke
This is no joke, we're totally broke
We need to steal us some loot right quick
I'll teach them to fear the end of my stick
I'll have to use a stick, I have no sword
Austin will beat 'em with his two by four
And Kyle will just...lie there. While we work
This trip is the bomb, but why is the rum all gone?
From our pirate ship

[Kyle]
Sorry, my cat got thirsty

[Ian]
How does Captain Dan & the Scurvy Crew do this?

[Austin]
How did I catch a salmon with no arms?