My Band

[Intro: Eminem]
I don't know, dude
I think everybody's all jealous and shit
'Cause I'm, like, the lead singer of the band, dude
And I think everybody's got a fucking problem with me, dude
And they need to take it up with me after the show
Because

[Chorus: Eminem]
These chicks don't even know the
Name of my band
But they're all on me like they
Wanna hold hands
'Cause once I blow, they know
That I'll be the man
All because I'm the lead
Singer of my band

[Verse 1: Eminem]
So I get off stage, right? Drop the mic
Walk up to these hot chicks, and I'm all like:
"Sup, ladies? My name's Slim Shady
I'm the lead singer of D12, baby"
They're all like, "Oh my God, it's him
Becky, oh my fucking God, it's Eminem
I swear to fucking God, dude, you fucking rock
Please, Marshall, please, let me suck your cock"
Now by now, the rest of the fellas get jealous
Especially when I drop the beat and do my a capellas
All the chicks start yelling, all the hot babes
Throw their bras and their shirts and their panties on stage
So, like every single night, they pick a fight with me
But when we fight, it's kinda like sibling rivalry
'Cause they're back on stage the next night with me
Dude, I just think they're tryna steal the light from me
Yesterday, Kuniva tried to pull a knife on me
'Cause I told him Jessica Alba's my wife-to-be
This rock star shit is the life for me
And all the other guys just despise me because these

[Chorus: Eminem]
These chicks don't even know the
Name of my band
But they're all on me like they
Wanna hold hands
'Cause once I blow, they know
That I'll be the man
All because I'm the lead
Singer of my band

[Post-Chorus: Eminem, Swifty McVay]
My band, my band
My band, my band
My band, my band
My band, my band
My band
Alright, okay, alright
Baby, yeah, give me that mic, man
Okay, dawg, give—come on, man! Dude!
Give me this mic! Ow, dude!

[Verse 2: Swifty McVay & Kon Artis]
You just wanna see a nigga backwards, don't you? (Uh-huh)
ADAT? How come we don't rap on Pro Tools? (God dang)
Smash these vocals and do a performance
But we in the van (Uh-huh,) and he in a tour bus (Ha)
You don't want my autograph, you's a liar
And nah, I'm Swift, "Oh, I thought you were Kuniva" (Come on!)
And what the hell is wrong with our dressing room?
'Cause our shit is looking smaller than a decimal
See, I know how to rap (Uh-huh,) it's simple, but
All I did was read a Russell Simmons book (Yeah)
So I'm more intact, tryna get on the map
Doing jumping jacks while getting whipped on my back

[Verse 3: Kuniva, Kon Artis & Eminem]
Look at Em, little punk ass, thinking he the shit
Yeah, I know, man, by himself, taking all the flicks
Ayy, I thought we had an interview with DJ Clue?
No, I had an interview, not you two
You gon' be late for soundcheck! Man, I ain't going to soundcheck
And our mics are screwed up! And his always sound best
You know what, man? I'ma say somethin'
Ayo Em! You got somethin' to say? Man, nuttin'
I thought you was about to tell him off, man, wassup?
Man, I'ma tell him when I feel like it, man, shut up
And you ain't even back me up, and we supposed to be crew
Man, I was about to talk right after you, I swear
Aww, man, whatever! I swear, man!

[Chorus: Eminem]
These chicks don't even know the
Name of my band
But they're all on me like they
Wanna hold hands
'Cause once I blow, they know
That I'll be the man
All because I'm the lead
Singer of my band

[Verse 4: Proof, Eminem & Kon Artis]
They say the lead singers rock, but the group does not
Went from sold-out arenas to amusement parks
How I'm gon' let the world know that Proof is hot?
I should cut his mic off when the music starts
(Ayo, wh—) Ready to snap on a dumbass fan
Every time I hear, "Hey, dude, I love your band!"
We ain't a band, bitch, we don't play instruments
So why he get ninety, and we only get ten percent?
And these guys acting funny every area code
Proof, carry my bag! Bitch, carry your own
Can't make it to the stage, security in my way
Who the fuck are you? Where's Obie and Dre?

[Verse 5: Bizarre]
God damn it, I'm sick of this group (Fuck D12)
Time for me to go solo and make some loot (Yeah)
I told you I made the beats and wrote all the raps
'Til Kon Artis slipped me some crack (Take this)
"Lose Yourself" video, I was in the back
"Superman" video, uh, I was in the back (Hahaha)
For the media, I got some suggestions
Fuck Marshall, ask us some questions
Like, "Who is D12?" "How we get started?"
(But what about Eminem?) Bitch, are you retarded?
Anyway, I'm the popularest guy in the group
Big-ass stomach, bitches think I'm cute (Hey sexy!)
50 told me to do sit-ups to get buff
Did two and a half and couldn't get up
Fuck D12, I'm outta this band
I'm 'bout to start a group with The Real Roxanne

[Bridge: Eminem, Bizarre, Bizarre & Eminem]
Girl, why can't you (Roxanne, Roxanne)
See you're the (Bizarre will be your man)
Only one for me?
And it just
Tears my ass apart
To know that
You don't know my
Name! Man, fuck this

[Chorus: Bizarre]
These chicks don't even know the
Name of my band (Haha)
But they're all on me like they
Wanna hold hands (Fuck Marshall)
'Cause once I blow, I know that
I'll be the man (Yeah)
All because I'm the new
*Blends* *Laughs*

[Post-Chorus: Eminem & Bizarre]
My band, my band (Your band)
My band, my band (Our band, your band)
My band, my band (You man, you man)
My band, my band (Roxanne Shanté)
My band (Lesbian)
Yeah, ayo
The hardest boy band in the world
D12!

[Outro: Eminem]
I'm the lead singer of my band
I get all the girls to take off their underpants
I'm the lead singer of my band
My salsa makes all the pretty girls want to dance
My salsa, woah, woah
Look out for my next single, it's called
"My Salsa"
My salsa, salsa, salsa, salsa, my salsa
My salsa makes all the pretty girls want to dance
And take off their underpants
My salsa makes all the pretty girls want to dance
And take off their underpants
My salsa
Where'd everybody go?