Prelude

[Voiceover]:
The following movie is rated TB - Toh Bad. Viewer discretion is advised. Please switch off all mobile phones while seated in the theatre. Thank you for your cooperation. And now, for your feature presentation...

(Scene 1):
[Narrator]:
September 27th, 2010. 53 minutes after 2300 hours. Location: Unknown

[Boss]:
Gentlemen, gentlemen, please be seated. You know what is at stake here, so answer me this. Where is M.I?

(murmuring)

[Jean-Pierre]:
Hello sir! I am Jean-Pierre. Me and my team have searched everywhere for M.I, but have discovered he is very well hidden!

[Boss]:
So you mean to tell me that you have found nothing? You insolent bastard! Kill him!

[Jean-Pierre]:
Sir! If you will delay my execution just a second, I will explain-

(gunshots)

Eugh! Ah! Eugh! What a tragedy! I have died!

[Boss]:
Ah, I hate to lose my temper. But I guess if you need to get something done, you gotta do it yourself, you know? Okay. Now to catch a rat, you gotta know how a rat thinks. You need to lay down the peanut butter. So, does he have a girlfriend?

[Mustafa]:
Well sir, there is one girl who may know. Her name is...Waje!

[Boss]:
Get her. And bring her to me. Alive!

[Mustafa]:
Prontissimo, sir! He-he-he-he-he-he!

(tires screeching)

(Scene 2):
[Waje] (singing):
Uh can I be your girl, for a minute
Your girl for a minute

(banging on door)

[Waje]:
Oh, hello gentlemen! How may I help you?

[Mustafa]:
Hello, Mrs. I am Mustafa. We know you have affiliations with M.I, and we need to see him pretty desperately. Where is he, or lose your life woman!

[Waje]:
Oh you guys are too funny! You know what I think, I think you guys are kolo oh, kolo oh, kolo eh! Ha-ha, you guys think you can kidnap me? Well, M.I will rescue me no matter what you do!

[Mustafa]:
Woman, make no mistake! We do not return those who we kidnap! We are not Nigerian. You must meet my boss now, let us go!

[Waje]:
No, let me go! No, let me go! Let me go! No!

(tires screeching)

(Scene 3):
[Waje]:
Where am I?! Where are you taking me?!

[Boss]:
Hello, little girly! If you cooperate, you'll make it out of this alive, capisce? Now, I have only one question, so think carefully before you answer. Where is...M.I?

[Waje]:
I will never tell you! Because he's gonna come rescue me! Ha-ha! I laugh at you guys, cause you guys don't even know M.I. He's the greatest, he's an action star, he's a hero!

[Mustafa]:
He-he-he-he-he, I laugh at you women! We are the greatest armed force on the face of the earth! We will destroy him if he dares come close-

(gunshots)

[Mustafa]:
Eh? What was that sound? You two, go check it out!

(more gunshots)

[Mustafa]:
Eh, what was that sound?

(more gunshots)

[Mustafa]:
Come in! Come in! Radio, come in!

(more gunshots)

[Mustafa]:
What is happening?!

(footsteps)

[Mustafa]:
Who goes there? I hear footsteps, who goes there? Say your name or I shoot!

[M.I]:
Hello, Mustafa. They call-they call-they call me M.I. Are you ready to dance with the devil? Let's go!