Sphygmomanometer

[Verse 1]
If you want to measure your blood pressure
Everybody knows what tool you use
It's that thing with the cuff for your arm
And the bulb on the end that's attached with a tube
But what do you call it? A blood pressure cuff?
It turns out that name wasn't long enough
The technical term for one of those blood pressure monitors
Is a sphygmomanometer

[Chorus]
So, do you want to get your blood pressure measured?
Man, you need a sphygmomanometer
With an instrument whose name has got sixteen letters?
Yo, you need a sphygmomanometer
It's a big old moniker
For the sphygmomanometer
So just drop that needle like a conifer
For the sphygmomanometer
Check it

[Verse 2]
For a hip-hop jam to be complete
You need a rap and you need a beat
So the fact that you "wrap" that cuff around your arm
Plus the beat of your heart means, party people, move your feet!
In the discos, this goes out to the gizmos
People tappin' their big toes for sphygmos
That's what I call 'em for short, like, you dig, bros?
So get your sleeve pushed up like a pig's nose
And let's attach that cuff with some velcros
And get the stethoscope on your elbows
So we can tell if your blood pressure fell, rose
Or stayed in the same place like Melrose
So could you roll up your garment, sir
And ma'am, I wanna see that upper arm of yours
And if you ask me what do I want it fer
It's for my motherfuckin' sphygmomanometer!
Check it, y'all

[Chorus]
Do you want to get your blood pressure measured?
Man, you need a sphygmomanometer
With an instrument that has the craziest name ever?
Yo, you need a sphygmomanometer
And if you want to be a commoner
Then I suppose you can call it a blood pressure monitor
But if you want to be a connoisseur
Then it's a sphygmomanometer
Everybody!

[Outro]
S to the P to the H to the Y
To the G to the M to the O to the M
To the A to the N to the O to the M
E to the T to the E to the R
Backwards! R to the E to the T
To the E to the M to the O to the N
To the A to the M to the O to the M
G to the Y to the H-P-S
In Morse code!
(Morse code beeping)
Sphygmomanometer!
Sphygmomanometer!
Sphygmomanometer!
Sphygmomanometer!