The Last Janelle

You dopes are all the same
And that's why i'm so ashamed
To be a part of what could be
Called the punk rock community
You take things way too seriously
Or else you take them too lightly
Post messages on AOL
But don't you dare fuck with Janelle
She's everything that you are not
She's not a girl, she is a thought
She's an idea or an ideal that you won't ever get
So go play with your make-believe Internet friends

She's on a Greyhound bus
I ate a hairy coconut
I think I might have diverticulitis
Is there too much beer inside us?
Ugly riot girls saying I don't know shit
It hurts to know you care enough to send the very shittiest

So gentlemen and ladies, have a seat
And allow me to repeat
That your stupid online world
And your stupid comments may well be justification for a beating

Where applicable
Not valid in Vermont
Void where prohibited
And shut your fucking mouth
Don't go to Easter Isle
And overpopulate
Destroy God's Spaceship Earth
Dilute! Dilute! OK!