I’m Intro Bro

[Skit: Mr 8 Legz, Whipstick, Kyle Moore]
God fuckin’ damn it
God! Fuck, man!
Why is it always my car?
I should really start getting in his shit
Fuck it
Calm down, breathe
Alright, let’s look at the positive
Whip’s not here
That’s the only fuckin’ positive
At least the van still runs
Thank God, though
It’s just me and my thoughts
No, no, no, dude, no, come on!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
What?
Yo, you’re the first fuckin’ Uber driver
Who made me open their door for them
Dude, I’m not a fuckin’ Uber!
And didn’t see me close it
And then you made me get into the car
No, get out
Why are we even in this van?
Get the fuck out
Don’t you have a goddamn Honda, dude?
Yo, do you not recall jumping off my roof
When you– claiming you were on a fuckin’ reindeer?
No, that wasn’t even me, I didn’t break that
What the fuck are you talking about?
It has your feet prints in it, dog
Oh my God
That could’ve been anyone in that Whipstick mask
Nobody jumped off screaming it’s m-
Hey, guys
What the fuck was that?
Holy shit! I hit play, and that’s not our voices
Shut the f–
I know what we sound like, dog
What the fuck was that?
Oh do you, Mr. Smartypants?
Is that a– Is that the fucking CD?
So, I’m this album
Okay
What fucking album is that, dude?
So you’re– you’re our album, huh?
No, that album’s trash
I’m this album
Yeah, true
Well look, all of our albums are trash
Fair point too
So how about you stop making us pull your fuckin’ proverbial teeth
Yeah!
And just tell us what the fuck you’re called, you stupid fu–
I’ll Tell You When I Want to Laugh–
Shut the fuck up! Oh my God
Whip, stop!
Look, man, you can’t just keep screaming at everything
Look at me, talking CD!
Yeah, talking see deez nuts, how about that, bitch?
God damn it, look here
Okay, shut the fuck up, Whip
CD, whatever the fuck
You know what? I’m just gonna pull him out
And throw him out the fuckin’ window
No, stop! Let’s see what the fuck he wants first
I just wanna see why I was created
You were created to shut the fuck up
Whip! Stop!
We could be friends
The other three full lengths
Kinda laid back and took it right?
Yeah, like the fuckin’ bitches that they are
You should learn to take notes!
Does that mean you listened to the other three?
Or– Look, man
Look, man, you should see what the fuck I did
To the album two albums before you, okay?
That doesn’t even fuckin’ matter
Look, we’re gonna have to take him with us anyways
Because if we don’t, that’s gonna probably create, like
An alternate timeline
And you know we don’t have the budget for that, so
You’re right
Let’s get food
I knew you were Uber Eats