Odysseus

[Hook]
Gonna tell you a story
That I once read about this cowboy's
Little messed up in the head
For starters, he went by this weird ol' name
Odysseus

[Verse 1]
Now Odysseus weren't no cowboy name
But he sure could play that
Cowboy game
And he could rope and ride
And he could throw a real mean discus
Now, he was headed home
From some far off land
Like Mississippi or Texarkan
And he was tryin' to get to Ithaca
In New York state
Met this dude named Poseidon
And almost drownеd
And this chick named [?]
Come along and found him
I- I didn't really gеt that part anyway
What I liked was when he met this girl named
Now she was all hot and bothered and ready to go
She invited all of his friends on over for supper
Turned his buddies into pigs
And that's a fact
So he made love to 'er and she
Turned 'em back
I guess, he's pretty good in the sack or somethin'

[Chorus]
Odysseus
Why did you have to go
Odysseus
What ever did you know
Odysseus was hard
Odysseus was fast
That cowboy could really kick some ass

[Verse 2]
Well he wa'n't really sure which way to head
So for directions he went to the kingdom of the dead
I ain't sure where that is
But it sounds like Florida
His-a momma lived there and she said "Hi"
He said "No momma I'm here to see this other guy"
She said "Well, you're a real fine son then aren'tcha"
Well, finally he found this guy that knew the way
He said "Now listen close to what I gotta say
It's a long hard ride and you'll prob'ly never even get there
And all your friends they're all a-gonna die
And all you're gonna wanna do is sit and cry"
And Odysseus said "Now hold up
I make a left where?"

[Chorus]
Odysseus
Why did you have to go
Odysseus
What ever did you know
Odysseus was hard
Odysseus was fast
That cowboy could really kick some ass

[Verse 3]
So he packed his bags and he saddled up
And he was headed out of town
Past this little club
And from inside he heard this girl band
Called The Sirens
Well he wanted to stay and hear a few
But his buddy said "Naw man we gotta move"
So he threw a big ol' tantrum
Then he got on back to ridin'
When he got home all of these men were there
Eatin' all the food from his Frigidaire
And not just two or three
But like fourty-somethin
They was hittin' on his wife
And makin' a scene
So he killed 'em all
And got away clean
Didn't have to do community service or nothin'
His wife said "I've been so faithful babe"
And he said "Uh, yeah, uh, me too
Except for that girl in that cave and a couple more
And that beautiful woman on the island shore
For like two years
Anyways baby I've been so faithful in my heart"

[Chorus]
Odysseus
Why did you have to go
Odysseus
What ever did you know
Odysseus was hard
Odysseus was fast
That cowboy could really kick some ass
That cowboy could really kick some ass