May I Struggle

There's a spirit o'er the deep
And it wants my soul to keep
With a whisper in my ear
Beckoning me ever near
Beckoning me ever near

I have struggled with that voice
Now for most of my grown life
But I never entered in
Because I bought into the lie
"Surely you'll not die."

I have wrestled with the snake
I have struggled with the fruit
I have fumbled with my fig leaves
As you call me through the dew
Lord, may I struggle after you

I have lusted far too long
For other lovers in the dark
I have bound myself in full
I have given them my heart
I have given them my heart

You're that candle in the window
Like the lighthouse on the shore
Like the shepherd leaves the flock
To usher one back through the door
One back through the door

You have turned ear to my prayers
Though I break your heart in two
Bearing all my selfish begging
What else would I have you do?
Lord, may I struggle after you

I have taken of the wine
I have taken of the bread
I have taken of your flesh and blood
With the Devil in my bed
The Devil In my bed

I'm the son too far from home
You're the father fair and true
And you love although I fail
As good fathers always do
Lord, may I struggle after you