Holiday Shaving Cream

The chimney was long, dark and scary
And my Santa suit just barely fit
While I thought I'd land safely on ashes
But I landed in three feet of sh-

-aving cream
Be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen

I play with my Hanukkah dreidel
But I act like a kid, I admit
Then my puppy gets into the action
And buries my dreidel in sh-

-aving cream
Be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen

Last night I built nine Christmas reindeer
From a do-it-yourself model kit
But boy was I shocked in the morning
When behind them were nine piles of sh-

-aving cream
Be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen

The latkes last year were amazing
My mom always fries up a hit
But today I guess she was distracted
'cause I think that she fried them in sh-

-aving cream
Be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look clean

A new Christmas tree looks amazing
Every branch is all tinseled and lit
But below where I hid all the presents
My kid left a big bag of sh-

-aving cream
Be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look clean

I love all the stories of Judah;
How his army would just never quit;
How for eight days they hid in a temple
With nothing but oil and sh-

-aving cream
Be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look clean

Now my holiday song has concluded
It's my hope you enjoyed it a bit
But if you are appalled or offended
Stick your head...
In a bucket...
Of sh-

-aving cream
Be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look clean