Florida Man Song

[Intro]
Florida Man!

[Verse 1]
Lewd acts on a flight to Boston
Alligator possession
Five hundred K
Stolen cryptocurrency

Homemade gadgets hacking gas pumps
Steals ambulance, drives into the mud
Sale of monkey
To a celebrity

[Chorus]
Florida Man, yeah
Everybody's heard them
The tales and the stories
Of the Florida Person

Everything and anything
They defy general logic
Florida Man:
Novel or psychotic?

[Verse 2]
Valuable turtle stolen
Driving down the highway on a lawnmower
Dressed as Spiderman
Doing roof power-washing

Attackеd by a Florida squirrel
Naked down the highway on a bicyclе
Calling the police
For some liquor and ice cream

[Chorus]
Florida Man, yeah
Everybody's heard them
The tales and the stories
Of the Florida Person

Everything and anything
They defy general logic
Florida Man:
Novel or psychotic?

Florida Man, yeah
Everybody's heard them
The tales and the stories
Of the Florida Person

Everything and anything
They defy general logic
Florida Man:
Novel or psychotic?

[Bridge]
I just wanna know
Mr. Florida Man
Ooh
I get stuck in a port-a-potty

I just wanna know
Mr. Florida Man
Ooh
Why do my toes feel wet and soggy?

I have a lot of questions
Like why do you break into my restaurant?
To play bongos and eat ramen?
And why do you steal some sausage?

I find it so confusing
That you try to shoot a hurricane
And I find it quite amusing
You went to Apple, tried to sue them

[Chorus]
Florida Man, yeah
Everybody's heard them
The tales and the stories
Of the Florida Person

Everything and anything
They defy general logic
Florida Man:
Novel or psychotic?