The Bozos Song

Bozos, Beaners, Zips, Berserkers
Coupon clippers, factory workers
Old folks hiding in the attics
Mothers, truckers, dope fanatics
(They're here tonight - Everybody's here tonight)

Patriotic Ruski haters
Punk platoons of roller skaters
Child molesters, nuke protesters
All will go to war - Hey!

"Hey, hey, hey, hey - are you ready for it, huh? You ready to sacrifice everything for the cause, because, hmm? Are you really? You're all smiling now, but will you be smiling, say six months from now? Are you really ready to give up your gas and your precious pocket calculators, hmm? We'll see!"

No more eating TV dinners
No more being game show winners
No more playing craps and faro
No more driving your Camaro
Camaro, Camaro, there'll be no more Camaros

"Land-a-Goshen!"

Bozos, Beaners, Zips, Berserkers
Aborted pregnant welfare shirkers
We're all Bozos on this bus
This bus is off to war - Hey!

"Oh yes, yes, yes, you're all cheering now, aren't you? But I wonder if that smile on your face isn't really a Cheshire smile, huh? Painted on! Yes, I can see your real faces! Yes, yes, I can see some people over there who look like live-in lover beaters, yes, yes. And there's a whole section of lotus eaters, and in the middle there a whole bunch of tax form cheaters. Ah-ha-ha. But listen carefully to what we have to say."

I met a funny bearded fellow
From the Gulag Archipelago
"They let him go! "
"Dasvidaniya tovarisch!"

He said the Russian bear was mean
Let's wipe them off our TV screen
Let's practice being Soviet shooters
On our family game computers

"Ruski-Pow! Ruski-Pow!"
"Yes, that's right, it's time again to play the wonderful game you can play at home on your own TV screen - Ruski-Pow! Let's see what kind of sharpshooters we have out there today. Uh, you, young lady, how'd you like to try to stop that Soviet soldier before he stops you, eh? Just say Ruski-Pow and see if you can get him."
"Ruski-Pow!"
Uh-oh, he's still heading towards the club. Try again!"
"Ruski-Pow!"
"Hey! We stopped him! H-ha-ha! We're only playing, folks!

Bozos, Beaners, Zips, Berserkers
Heroes, zeros, closet jerkers
We're all bozos on this bus
The President is driving us
Not one of us will make a fuss
This bus is off to war!