Stage of Fools

The first time we played Britannia it was 1066
The management was Willie the Con
He was pretty good for a fix
The contract had a few flaws
Like a-helping out on the oars
Smuggling girlies and Charlie Claus
In the back of our amps to Saxon shores, I tell ya

[Chorus]
We'll see your stage of fools
Dropping those pagan blues
The first time we played Britannia
She was wearing the dead man’s shoes I tell ya
Shoes I tell ya

Out on the Straits of Dover
We could see them rolling in the clover
And Willie swore by the boy in the barrel
He gonna turn those cowsons over
We were billed as the Kings of Fear
From the port of Agadir
The roadie sets up on Hastings Pier
And we all get totaled on pervitin gear, I tell ya

[Chorus]

They came by foot and horse-drawn carts
Out from under rocks and private parts
And for 95% of the gate
Willie said, "Don't forget to give them your heart"
The promoter tried to roll it and fly
But Willie stuck an arrow in his eye
He said, "No mother gets a finger in the till
Until we all hit the oars for Portlandville, I tell ya"

[Chorus]