Paintings of Cats

[Hook: Doc Waffles]

Baby grab the blindfold and feel for the brushes under my coat
Painting a painting of painting a painting of boats
I'm gonna have Kentucky Derby hat catalogs
Mailed to your house wrapped in plain brown paper
On which is printed 'here's the smut you requested
Wrapped in plain brown paper" done in big block letters
Hide your life savings in the canvassy straps under my hat
Painting a painting of painting a painting of cats

[Verse 1: Doc Waffles]

First of all I want the baseball tickets you owe me
And a more disciplined aim that only fires at capital poultry
Taking out personal ads in the back page of the news:
Golf View Caligula seeks an all new rib to remove
Let's play hooky, let's stay sloshy
Till your David Hockney swimming pool freezes then play hockey
Appear in alternating fogs, untrustworthy tiers
Undressing herself to a Pete Rock beat that I hadn't heard in years
Chicken bones. Batteries
Dirty drink umbrellas. Glass menageries
Seizure me brown Bagley manhole cover gas plasma screen
Madame tonight I'm trouncing your high Ms. Pac-Man score

[Hook: Doc Waffles]

Baby grab the blindfold and feel for the brushes under my coat
Painting a painting of painting a painting of boats
I'm gonna take all the hairs you leave on my pillowcases
And weave them into baskets for my antique postcards
I'm gonna glue this unused plane ticket to the bottom of my shoe
Then set the landspeed record
Hide your Plan B pills in the canvassy straps under my hat
Painting a painting of painting a painting of cats

[Verse 2: Doc Waffles]

My thirtieth birthday cake has turned a year old
It's sitting in the corner of my room covered with mold
It seemed so lonely all by itself in the cold
I bought it a cake of its own with happy birthday written in gold
Lizzy is married now...Mary's in Manistee
Lilian's a lesbian I think...hanging her master's degree
Popsicle stick picture frames fill the walls of my lonely place
Who wants to stare at an empty trophy case?

[Outro: Doc Waffles]

Take your retainer out...like you're high on muscle relaxers
Painting a painting of painting a painting of cats