Defense Mechanism

[Verse 1]
It's me verse my brain, solitary confinement
Man
My thoughts are scary when it's silent
It's like a childish tyrant that tries to hold me down
And every time I try to fight the ocean tides I just drown
I used to blame the town say fuck this city and leave
But due to COVID can't just pack it up, sick of this disease
For years I've been blaming everything but me
But since sitting still with my fears, it's been plain to see
I can be insecure, pissed and pessimistic
I see the worst in people and say "shit I'm just a misfit"
It's yall's fault, society sucks, then build a wall
Never let a person get close 'cause that would involve
Vulnerability, and deep down my psyche is in shambles
That's why most nights you'd find me writing by these candles
I can't get cut there, or so I thought
Corona made me sit and reflect and it's helped a lot

[Interlude from Good Will Hunting]
Oh why do you think he does that Jerry?
Do you have any fucking clue why? Hmm?
He pushes people away before they have a chance to leave him
It's a defense mechanism alright?

[Verse 2]
So miss me with the pity I'm only trying to be real
If existence has been shitty then I won't lie and conceal
The deal because that's fraudulent and I'm a fucking artist
Why would I omit the darkness and then choose to publish garbage?
We all struggle, we all could use therapy
I am a human seeking truth not a parody
Are you aware that we embarrass ourselves daily?
Participate in the charade and others may go crazy
Inflated exaggerated, this place can make us greatly
Overestimate the ways of those behaving fakely
Comparison is a menace that benefits from misery
And the business of artificial bliss is a vicious industry
Just to kill the mystery, all I'm trying to say
Is it isn't per sympathy when I mention my dismay
So hey, how are you? Hope that things are great
But if not, that's okay too, no pressure to be fake