Me & Mr. Hohner

Me and Mr. Hohner
Standin' on the corner
Not doin' nothin' to no one

When a squad car stops
And out jump cops
You one of them, if I ever saw one

Wonder what I said
As my face turned red
Up against the wall, says the tall one

That's a cute mustache
Have ya got any hash?
I'd like to make a buy, says the small one

Now the whole thing's silly
But I'm starin' at the billy
Quietly askin' myself now will he

Use that thing
To make my eardrums ring
It's all a bad dream
And I'm in South Philly
Now tell 'em, Mr. Hohner

Me and Mr. Hohner
In Yuma, Arizona
Tryin' to hitch a ride to Denver

Well, out of a toll
Comes the highway patrol
To check up on my gender

Is it her or him
Or maybe Tiny Tim?
Now up against the fence, says the dense one

You have picked a bad spot
To smoke your pot
Whatcha gonna do two against one?

Now the whole thing's silly
But I'm starin' at the billy
Quietly askin' myself now will he

Use that thing
To make my eardrums ring
It's all a bad dream
And I'm in South Philly
Now tell 'em, Mr. Hohner

Me and Mr. Hohner
Relaxin' out at Kona
Hawaiian sun can be groovy

When a pair of MPs
Yell out, freeze!
And I think I gotta part in a movie

Hey! I'm talkin' to you
Tell me what did I do?
You're a draft card burner, says the thin one

We can tell by your looks
That you read too many books of wars
And that's because ya ain't been in one

Now the whole thing's silly
But I'm starin' at the billy
Quietly askin' myself now will he

Use that thing
To make my eardrums ring
It's all a bad dream
And I'm in South Philly
Now tell 'em, Mr. Hohner