Picks And Lasers

McDonald

Hey, picks and lasers; bits and phasers in another time
Here's a story of blood and glory and life upon the line
Picks and lasers, bits and phasers in another time
Here's a story of blood and glory and digging in the mines, in the martian mines

First time that I heard the sound I thought it was the humming
Of Weather-Drones orbiting above the frozen sea
The next time that I heard the sound I also heard the voices
In a hundred different languages calling out to me:
'Come put away your laser-pick and soar the galaxy.'

And working on my K-jet in the heat of martian summer
I felt a strange vibration coming from the distant stars
Old Charlie only laughed at me, he said it was 'space fever'
He thought that I had lost my mind when I told him that I saw
The War-Ships of a thousand worlds slicing through the stars

Then from the sky came Saturn Sal with contrail streams behind her
And the word she said was 'war' again, so what was I to do ?
Oh, the 'droids' all started chirpin' and Old Charlie's mouth fell open
As I tossed my picks and lasers in the little Turbo-Two
I could hear them cryin', 'no, don't go!' as the red dust blocked the view

Hey, picks and lasers; bits and phasers in another time
Here's a story of blood and glory and life upon the line
Picks and lasers, bits and phasers in another time
Here's a story of blood and glory and digging in the mines

The 'Cruiter' said I'd broke down and surely I must know it
For I'd been diggin' martian ore for thirty years or more
And I must have made a fortune and I'd probably live to spend it
If only I would change my mind but I insisted, 'no!'
So I filled out all the proper forms that was eighteen years ago

I joined the Federation and they placed me and my unit
To the rainbow rings of Saturn two thousand years away
And the squadron doing night watch are all Kriptees from Artura
And the day watch is all human clones from the U. S. A
Poor souls, they vaporized them all the other day

Hey, picks and lasers; bits and phasers in another time
Here's a story of blood and glory and life upon the line
Picks and lasers, bits and phasers in another time
Here's a story of blood and glory and digging in the mines

Hey!

But no one tells me nothin' and I never ask no questions
My vision's 20-20 and my health is A-OK
I'm a Z rank photon sniper and they work me like a slave 'droid'
And laugh to see me vaporize a ship a week away
Oh, I hold the highest kill rate in this galaxy, they say, hey!

And at night, they beg me please to tell them of my memories
Of diggin' in the red dirt beside the frozen sea
Where the daylight lasts forever and a man can make a fortune
And they sit like little children, just as quiet as can be
Things of every size and color how they hearken unto me

And I tell them of the ore mines scarring up the desert
Of tunnels going farther than the human mind can go
I tell them of explosions vibrating on forever
And us down with our laser picks a hundred miles below
While above us on the surface atomic stockpiles glow

And I tell of crystal caverns with walls of coal and copper
Of tunnels packed with veins of ore, but never hint of life
And craters packed with sensor beams and mine shafts filled with darkness
I tell them of my eco-dome at the Recon-Testing-Site
And I find myself thinking : 'Hey, that sure was the life'

Hey, picks and lasers; bits and phasers in another time
Here's a story of blood and glory and life upon the line
Picks and lasers, bits and phasers in another time
Here's a story of blood and glory and digging in the mines

So I talk of copper mining while the death-rays are exploding
And the soldroids at the firing place are homing on the foe
And I yarn of ore refining while the Star Fleets are destroying
And they listen to my stories, seven hu-droids in a row
Seven sleek and shiny hu-droids with their circuits all aglow

And I tell them when it's over how I'll return to my planet
Those seven shiny hu-droids are crazy to go, too
And I'll get myself the laser drill that I had always wanted
And ask the price of crude ore and the depth of martian blue
And I'll get my gear in order and I'll start to work anew, hey

For I've had my fill of fighting, I've seen a world divided
Space all filled with slaughter and the heavens red with gore
An a galaxy a-smolder and as if it really mattered
For the red dirt is calling me to my dome upon the shore
And the 'droids' are chirpin' madly, Old Charlie's singing gladly
And I'll rest upon my planet and I'll leave it never more, and leave it never more