Pub Hassle

Hello darling I like your knockers
I like the way they're hanging free
Did you leave it off tonight, then?
Bet you done that just for me

What do you mean you ain't interested
What do you mean, you're with your friend
What do you girls hang around in bars for
If it ain't to pick up men?

Are you one of them women's libbers
Are you the kind that burns your bra
Wouldn't you rather we burned your knickers
That's a good one: ha ha ha

What do you mean it isn't original
Can't you even take a little joke
If you got no sense of humour
How do you expect to get a bloke?

You don't need one - what does that mean
What are you, some kind of a les
Is that your girlfriend - is she jealous?
Well never you mind about what she says

Why don't you invite me over
So I can watch you kiss your friend
If she's the man and you're the woman
How come you both dress like men?

I bet you are fed up explaining
I'm not surprised if she's all you got
Wouldn't you rather try the real thing
Big and throbbing, red and hot

Alright alright don't get offended
I'm only trying to be your friend
I don't think you're liberated
I just think you're scared of men

What the fuck do you think you're doing
You've torn my shirt and spilled my drink
This place has got a reputation
What will all the customers think?

Here John, show this bitch the door now
She can't leave a feller alone
This Channel Four crap has gone too far now
There's nowhere left a man can call his own