The Ramblin’ Rover

Oh, there're sober men in plenty
And drunkards barely twenty
There are men of over ninety
That have never yet kissed a girl
But gie me a ramblin' rover
And fae Orkney down to Dover
We will roam the country over
And together we'll face the world

There's many that feign enjoyment
From merciless employment
Their ambition was this deployment
From the minute they left the school
And they save and scrape and ponder
While the rest go out and squander
See the world and rove and wander
And are happier as a rule

I've roamed through all the nations
Ta'en delight in all creation
And I've tried a wee sensation
Where the company, did prove kind
And when partin' was no pleasure
I've drunk another measure
To the good friends that were treasure
For they always are in our minds

If you're bent wi' arth-i-ritis
Your bowels have got colitis
You've gallopin' with bollockitis
And you're thinkin' it's time you died
If you been a man of action
Though you're lying there in traction
You will get some satisfaction
Thinkin', "Jesus, at least I tried."