The Ballad of Sigmund Freud

Well, it started in Vienna not so many years ago
When not enough folks were getting sick
That a starving young physician tried to better his position
By discovering what made his patients tick

He forgot about sclerosis and invented the psychosis
And a hundred ways that sex could be enjoyed
He adopted as his credo, "Down repression, up libido!"
And that was the start of Doctor Sigmund Freud

Well, Doctor Freud (Doctor Freud), oh Doctor Freud (Doctor Freud)
How we wish you had been differently employed!
But the set of circumstances still enhances the finances
Of the followers of Doctor Sigmund Freud

Well, he analyzed the dreams of the teens and libertines
Substituted monologue for pills
He drew crowds just like Will Sadler, when along came Jung and Adler
And they said, "By God, there's gold in them thar ills!"

They encountered no resistance when they served as Freud's assistants
As with ego and with id they deftly toyed
But instead of toting bedpans, they wore analytic deadpans
Those ambitious doctors Adler, Jung, and Freud!

Well, Doctor Freud, (Doctor Freud), goes marching in (goes marching in?)
How we wish you had been differently employed!
But the set of circumstances still enhances the finances
Of the followers of Doctor Sigmund Freud

Now the big three have departed, but not so the cult they started
No, it's being carried on by a goodly band
And to trauma, shock, and war shock, someone's gone and added Rorschach
And the thing has got completely out of hand!

So old boys with double chinsies, and a thousand would-be Kinseys
They discuss it at the drop of a repression
And I wouldn't be complaining, but for all the loot I'm paying
Just to lie on someone's couch and say confession?

Well, Doctor Freud (cha cha cha), oh Doctor Freud (cha cha cha)
How we wish you had been differently employed!
But the set of circumstances still enhances the finances
Of the followers of Doctor Sigmund Freud

(Soft)
But the set of circumstances still enhances the finances
(That was beautiful, fellas)
Of the followers of Doctor Sigmund Freud, cha cha cha