Living Next Door To Alan

They came down from Meekatharra
In a burned-out blue FJ
That farted and just shit itself in Jutland Parade
Right next door to Bondy's
When the smoke had cleared a voice said:
'Eh .. this place look all right
We'll tell the government it's a sacred site
Dead fuckin' easy'

'Good day Mr Alan Bond, how you goin' bloke?
Hey, I'm your brand-new neighbour ... hey, mate you got a smoke?
And I think I'm gonna like it here
Livin' next door to Alan'

Twenty-four kids, 9 adults and 15 dogs
A dead roo on the roof rack and a boot load full of grog
'And I'm flash as Michael Jackson now I'm
Livin' next door to Alan'

'The first thing that we gott a do is get another car
'Cause the one sittin' out the front won't even fuckin' start
We'll call that bloke again from the government
He's all right, eh?'

So they called the bloke in charge of all the government grants
And the next day in the driveway was a new Mercedes Benz
'Eh, come 'n' have a look at this one, Edwin
This one's got a wireless ... look at this, eh'

'Good day Mr Alan Bond, how you goin' mate?
You got a real flash car, but my one's flash one, eh
And I believe that my one's faster than yours, Mr Bond
'Cause mine's a red one'

Twenty-four kids, 9 adults and 15 dogs
All squeezed in the front seat with the wireless turned full on
Listenin' to Slim Dusty now they're
Livin' next door to Alan

So Bondy called Ben Lexcen and said:
'I want another yacht, twice as big
And twice as fast as what I already got
That'll fuck 'em'

So his neighbours called some welfare mob, not to be outdone
And got the HMAS Melbourne on some sorta government loan
Got me knackered -- they just said they wanted to
Go fishin' for yabbies in the river

'Good day Mr Alan Bond, how you goin' mate?
You got a real flash boat, but my one's flash one, eh?
And I think I'm gonna put him in the river
Next door to Alan's

Fifteen dogs, 9 adults, two dozen screaming kids
With lines strung from the flight deck, tryin' to catch some squid
Swimmin', fishin', pissin' in the river
Next door to Alan

So Bondy threw a party
The likes you've never seen
And invited everybody from the Premier to the Queen --
And the Leyland Brothers

So his neighbours baked bungarra on a barbie on the lawn
And invited all their relatives from Meekatharra to come down
'Hey, Edwin, don't you forget to bring a big flagon of woobla
There's a party on at my 'ouse!'

'I don't know why he's leavin', or where he's gonna go
He says he's got his reasons and I reckon that I know
He just never got used to
Livin' next door to Abos'

'He's jumpin' up and down and he's makin' such a fuss
At least we don't got fuckin' coons livin' next door to us!
Now we gotta get used to not
Livin' next door to Alan

Now we gotta get used to not
Livin' next door to Alan