M.T.A.

[Spoken Introduction]
These are the times that try men's souls
In the course of our nation's history
The people of Boston have rallied bravely
Whenever the rights of men have been threatened

Today a new crisis has arisen
The Metropolitan Transit Authority, better known as the MTA
Is attempting to levy a burdensome tax on the population
In the form of a subway fare increase
Citizens, hear me out, this could happen to you!

(Song:)
[Verse 1]
Well, let me tell you of the story of a man named Charlie
On a tragic and fateful day
He put ten cents in his pocket, kissed his wife and family
Went to ride on the MTA

[Chorus]
Well, did he ever return?
No, he never returned and his fate is still unlearned (What a pity)
He may ride forever 'neath the streets of Boston
And he's the man who never returned

[Verse 2]
Charlie handed in his dime at the Kendall Square station
And he changed for Jamaica Plain
When he got there the conductor told him, "One more nickel"
Charlie couldn't get off of that train!

[Chorus]
But did he ever return?
No, he never returned and his fate is still unlearned
(Poor old Charlie)
He may ride forever 'neath the streets of Boston
He's the man who never returned

[Verse 3]
Now, all night long Charlie rides through the station
Crying, "What will become of me?
How can I afford to see my sister in Chelsea
Or my cousin in Roxbury?"

[Chorus]
But did he ever return?
No, he never returned and his fate is still unlearned (Shame and scandal)
He may ride forever 'neath the streets of Boston
He's the man who never returned

[Verse 4]
Charlie's wife goes down to the Scollay Square station
Every day at quarter past two
And through the open window she hands Charlie a sandwich
As the train comes rumblin' through!

[Chorus]
But did he ever return?
No, he never returned and his fate is still unlearned (He may ride forever)
He may ride forever 'neath the streets of Boston
He's the man who never returned

[Banjo Solo]
Pick it, Davey
(Kinda hurts my fingers)

[Verse 5]
Now, you citizens of Boston, don't you think it's a scandal
How the people have to pay and pay?
Fight the fare increase, vote for George O'Brian!
Get poor Charlie off the MTA!

[Chorus]
Or else he'll never return
No, he'll never return and his fate is still unlearned (Just like Paul Revere)
He may ride forever 'neath the streets of Boston
He's the man who never returned

[Outro]
He's the man who never returned
He's the man who never returned
Et tu, Charlie?