Anomalisa: Michael’s Speech

INT. AUDITORIUM

MICHAEL
-- and always remember, the customer is an individual. Just like you. Each person you speak to has had a day. Some of their days have been good, some bad, but they’ve all of them have had one. Each person you speak to has had a childhood. Each has a body. Each body has aches. What is it to be human? What is it to ache? What is it to be alive? I don’t know. What is it to ache? I don’t know. What is it to be alive? I don’t know. Uh, yes. How do I talk to a customer? How do I talk to a customer? These are the important questions for a customer service representative. What do I say? Do I smile while I’m on the phone? They can tell if you’re smiling even if they can’t see you. Did you know that? Try it as an experiment when you’re on the phone with a friend... Try it, go ahead. See, watch. (pause) I’m lost. You see I was smiling when I said that.

I’ve lost my love. She’s an unmoored ship drifting off to sea. And I have no one to talk to. I have no one to talk to. I have no one to talk to. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to burden you with that. I just don’t know what else to do because I have no one to talk to. Be friendly to the customer. Think of the customer as your friend.

I want to cry but I can’t. Is it the Zoloft, Dr. Horowitz? Is it the Zoloft... My face squeezes into that crying contortion you all know so well but nothing comes out. I need tears. It’s like not being able to come. I need tears to tear me in two and let this nightmare escape. Oh, um, anyway yes don’t forget to smile. It makes a person’s day. And what does it cost you? A smile is free. This is not working. This is not working. This is not working. The world is falling apart. The president is a war criminal.

AUDIENCE
Boo! Boo!

MICHAEL
America is going down the tubes and you’re talking about goddamn intelligent design. They’ve intentionally destroyed the public education system. It’s easier to manipulate dumb workers and soldiers.

AUDIENCE
There’s no need for that! Support our troops!

MICHAEL
Eh? Oh, uh, yes, ah. Be personable. Remember to believe in yourself. Believe in your company. And your products or services. I sweat onto my pillow every night. I think something is very, very wrong with me. Be friendly. Yes, what does it cost you? Look for what is special about each individual. Focus on that during your conversation.

Our time here is limited. We forget that. Death comes, that’s it. Soon it’s as if we never existed. So remember to smile. Remember there is someone out there for everyone. Someone to love. Remember every person you speak to needs love. Remember to --

EXT. AIRPORT TARMAC

Plane taking off.

END SCENE