Then She Bit Me

[Intro]
Ladies and Gentlemen
You are about the enter the Twilight Zone
They're here...

I was in a club one Friday
A lovely lady comes walking my way
She walked up and she said hello
I said, "Hi. My name's Joe."
I was lyin', so was she
She said her name was Donnie
But her shirt said Marie
She said, "You get to know me
You'll never forget me."
I said, "Why?" Then she bit me

Ouch!
That didn't hurt
Kinda kinky
But she ripped my shirt
She poisoned me (and) I went to sleep
I woke up at her house
In the back of a Jeep
A Blazer, '89
Tinted windows
I wish it was mine
Oh, it is
But where are my keys?
There they are...in the ignition

I'm at her house
It's a Teepee
No, it's a cabin
No, a skyscraper
No, it's an igloo
... a shack
Forget it. I'll go around back
It's a castle with a moat
How I get across...boat

(Twilight Zone noise)
Shooo...I hate that sound

I went inside
Looked right, looked left
There she is
Oh, no that's Jeff
He's invisible
I went downstairs
It's a loft
No, it's a dungeon!
There she is, doing aerobics
No, yoga
No, that's karate

*You killed my teacher!*
But what a body!

No, he wasn't there
I'm telling you I saw 'em
No, really I saw 'em
He was playing checkers
No, Nintendo
Ok, I'm lying

There she is
Watching T.V
All My Children
No, that's Cosby
No, Speed Racer
... Shaft
No, that's Kimba
My fault...the T.V.'s off

There she is, what a doll
No, that's Chucky from Child's Play!
I kissed her
And she told me this was home
I entered a dimension called The Twilight Zone
Where anything can happen

I'm rough like sandpaper
Hard like algebra
You should be glad that I was nice
And I allowed ya to
Step on stage
To kick your rhymes off
I tried to be nice
But you mistook that for softness
Now it's over, to hell with your opinion!
What I say goes from now on
This is my dominion!
I dare any rapper to step on stage
Cause if you do you'll feel the force of my rage
I'm on a rampage!

Psych just kiddin'
Jeff wanted to do that
But I didn't
I thought that it would make the record dumb
I guess I wasn't wrong

Mary had a little lamb
Her fleece was white as snow
And everywhere that Mary went
So did Humpty Dumpty

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down
And broke his crown
Hickory, dickory, dock

Got to use the bathroom now
Psych, I was drafted