Among the Living

All I could have, would have, should have told you
All I never even thought to ask you
Plays on my mind like a broken record
And I cannot bring myself to speak

All that there was left for you to teach me
All you’d try to make me understand
Isn’t lost on me now that you have left me
Proving nothing ever goes as planned

Since you’ve been gone I have been frozen
Unable to feel
Your leaving stripped the world of meaning
Tell me how do I go on
When I see nothing but fog now
All around me pillars of smokе rise
Where our drеams burned to the ground
There is no light to be found

I’m swimming in a deep lake of memories
I walk when I can’t sleep
And all I do is think about you
And wish that you were still here

Tell me it’s all been a terrible dream
The kind where you want to, but cannot scream
Tell me I’ll wake up and all will be as before
I’ll be back in our hometown
And you will walk through the door

I never knew I had so much to lose
Until I lost you…

And I wonder if you can forgive me
For all the times I have done you wrong
I’d give anything just to embrace you
Among the living, where you belong

Somebody tell me how to make peace
With circumstance begotten of mistakes
How to accept that there can be no second chances
When your soul escapes for grief and your heart breaks
Breaks into a thousand little pieces
Shatters like a cup that used to keep
Your memories, your dreams and your desires
And now all you want to do is go to sleep
And sleep until the living nightmare is over
Sleep until the pain of it is no more
Until the thought of facing the world doesn’t petrify you
And you can pick yourself up off the floor

Mother Mary, won’t you keep me steady
For my mind is weary and heavy is my heart
I’m still not sure if I can even do this
Could you bring me right back to the start?
There is so much about the past that I’d like to change
To take all of the pieces apart, to re-arrange
The complex puzzle that is life
Ever-changing with each choice one makes
I was young, I was foolish, I was restless
I made many mistakes

Azrael, take good care of my baby
Raphael, help ease the pain
Gabriel, will you give my message to him?
Chamuel, let us know peace
Jophiel, please illuminate this dark and lonely time
Zadkiel, let compassion grace each step of this steep and rocky climb
Jeremiel, mercy of God, will you be his guide?
Help my brother journey over to the other side

Out of my reach and into your arms
Profoundly calm and peaceful a place
Life on earth can be so hard
They are better off there in some ways
And though I grieve now, though I cry
This is not our last goodbye
We will meet again, I am sure
Another time, another life
Brother, sister, mother, wife
For love does even death endure

May the love between us allow me to find you
When we are reborn in another form
I shall live the days
I have left on this earth in honor of you
May God bless and keep you