Tripod
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One, two, three, four-sooth!
That's one!
Do you believe in love? Well, Willie Shakespeare had something to say about it. And it goes something like this:
I worked hard to be a star
Who do these young folks think they are?
If Nicole Kidman can sing
I can do Shakespeare
I can see myself standing on a battlement
Wearing a... conical bra
Eight muscle men surround me as I descend the stairs
And play Henry IV
And when I read the morning news
And when I read the morning news
My show will open to... reviews
I worked hard to be a star
Who do these young folks think they are?
If Nicole Kidman can sing
I can do Shakespeare
Then I'll break new ground - the first white female
To play... the role of Othello
I could add a plot point involving an antique shotgun
And a diamond heist
Full of Cockneys for effect
Full of Cockneys for effect
Just so my husband can direct
Oh, Guy, will you direct my play for me?
You'll be perfect for the bard-man
As long as it involves an antique shotgun
And Vinnie Jones as a hard man
We'll be laughing all the way to the Banquo...
I could make a book of nudie pictures of myself
As all the various characters
Picture Macbeth hitchhiking, with a dagger in one hand
And his arse in the other
A documentary, just for truth
A documentary, just for truth
And now I have to say "forsooth"
I worked hard to be a star
(In the background) Forsooth... forsooth... forsooth... forsooth..
Who do these young folks think they are?
Forsooth... forsooth...
If Nicole Kidman can sing
Forsooth... forsooth... that's eleven
I can do Shakespeare
One, two, three, four-sooth...