Sleazy P. Martini Intro

Howdy, kids. This is Sleazy P. Martini, entrepreneur extraordinaire, and welcome to the show. You know, if you wanna survive a GWAR show, the best way is to be sure and wear a GWAR t-shirt, and the best way to get a GWAR t-shirt is to head over to your local merchandising stand right this minute where we have three styles of t-shirt to choose from: black, blank, and muddled. You know, I've been accused of using subliminal advertising (Pussy), but nothing could be further from the truth (Blowjob). In fact, I'd like to respond to these charges by saying this (Fuck me): We would never use such sneaky tactics. In fact, we come right out and say it: Buy a GWAR t-shirt and you will get laid! That's right, a personal guarantee from Sleazy P. Martini himself. In fact, if you buy over $50 worth of merchandise, our merchandising man will give you a blowjob himself! So make sure and ask about this special deal before you get your t-shirt. Hey, w- w- hey, what's go- what's going on here, something cutting in, hey-