SWMBO

They call me SWMBO, mother fucker
Cause my beer love will get you KO'd, mother fucker
I don't eat but I drink yellow snow, mother fucker
And if you don't know, now you know, mother fucker so

Ladi Dadi, I likes to party
I don't cause trouble but I will drink something hoppy
Cause I'm chill like a lager like a brett I bring the funk
You boys been hanging out in sunlight call you renegades of skunk

You're so dumb you would huff non-toxic glue
You're so dumb you'd put rims on a Malibu
You're so dumb you wouldrandall a Natty Blue
You're so dumb you would beer bong a Hunaphu

Who? You? What? You want to see ID
Go see the CBO, yeah, you know he knows me
Go ahead, bitch, and take your time cause I don't mean to rush you
But you get rude with me and I am gonna Kong Krush ya

Oh, you mad bro? Do you even lift, bro?
You need to separate your grain from your grist, bro
You could be getting drunk, but you're only getting pissed
I'm a girl so you think I have Corona on my list?

Sitting at the bar, clinking glasses, yelling prost
While you're jelly on untappd and feeling burnt like toast
I drink more beers than I could ever list in this song
Now relate to the matter while I drop the Pirate Bomb

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Cause I'm all up into beer with what I know (Cicerone)

No hang ups with any of the styles (Dial tone)

Sessions in session at my home (get low)

Droppin' base malt like a DJ at a show (two row)

Now I might be a SWMBO but it's not hard to obey me when my
Honey-do list's "Brew shit!" and "Bring home whales on the daily"
Bonus points if in the morning you can pump a bag of saline so I'm
Set to get my brett on at a funky, sour tasting, time's a wastin'

When you're the female Michael Jackson but
Instead of grabbing crotch, I'm grabbing hops for my hopback, son

Citra or Millenium

The way these cones are hung, you should probably grab a Magnum

Yep yep, I'm graining on that wood
Soak it in some oak chips, barrel-age it good
Nap it in some Pappy, til it's dark as crude
Drill baby, drill, you know I wish a brewer would

I can rock a glass of gratzer or Goose Island's Lolita

While your girl gets drunk on Keystone and Cranbrritas

I assure you I'll convert her without causing a ripple
In a minute, I can get it going from trashy to tripel

A beer disciple, a tacet rachet snatcher

Here to preach the geeky gospel and save girls from beer disaster
Big brew master, I'm down with BJCP
I'm getting naughty in this nature, your terroir belongs to me

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I've been drinking like a boss, I've got original gravity

It won't take a hydrometer to see that I'm an OG
Wifey Ice-T down with the rhyme syndicate
I'll make your head spin like a magnet on a stir plate

First mate, trading with my man by my side
Click bate, ISOing with FTs in my ride
I've always got a full trunk when I'm traveling
Lead the way, tip of the spear, like a javelin

You see this heady man? I drink it from the can!
Eclipse 50/50 barrel aged in Pappy Van
I've got a case of fresh Pliney, case of fresh Hopslam
And a cellar full of coffee (that's the bourbon county brand)

I only pour the best stuff, I don't want no mediocre
I don't pull up to a tasting with some shit I got at Kroger
Watered down shit, lighter in body than Al Roker
Drain pours sucking worse than some shit by Bram Stoker

Call me Ishmael, cause I'm hunting whales
Holy grails, Indiana Jones of ales
Call my fridge Bollywood cause it's full of India pales
Zombie Killer, Zombie Dust, I'm eating your entrails

I'm a beer nerd bitch, I shatter old perimeters
Sour Shakespeare, rhyming in lambic pentameter
The G that rules, too cool for olde school
I'm a mother fucking monster, you're a mother fucking mule