Spoons

[Verse 1]
'Cos I one, one-nil
That's what you get, when you go out
Surely there's a better use for a telly than this
Projecting the world's most un-spirational energy
With me, the target they have missed
What a fabulous establishment
Endorsed by the BBC

[Chorus]
'Cos I one, one-nil
With this prick of a telly while I'm sitting in Spoons feeling sick at the thought of a large mixed grill
'Cos I one, one-nil
Emptying my pockets but the room's still spinning
Lend me a quid and we'll take home the winnings

[Verse 2]
I've got the gift of the gab
I am the king of the riff-raff
Here you are girl, come and sit on my lap
I can be a single malt, barrel of laughs
My chavvy mates call you a sort
But they mean no harm
And they appreciate art I'll have you know
I'll inundate you with clothes from charity shops
Fake verbs for scarfs and rebustify your heart
Forgive me for not asking what you do
But your eyes remind me of a pitcher of Woo Woo
You'll do!

[Chorus]
'Cos I one, one-nil
With this prick of a telly while I'm sitting in Spoons feeling sick at the thought of a large mixed grill
'Cos I one, one-nil
Emptying my pockets but the room's still spinning
Lend me a quid and we'll take home the winnings

[Verse 3]
A centre for the AA elderly by day
Blossoms to a youthful fountain by night
People come from towns far away
To blend, breed and some fight
A shell of a former listed building
With decor that lacks decorum
Within hosts intoxication in a debaucherous fashion
Forgive us fallout
For you girl I'd hold my tongue in the queue
The night is still young
You seem really, really, really nice
Cheap dates at Yates are not a scratch on this gaff
Minesweeping your drinks and that

[Chorus]
'Cos I one, one-nil
With this prick of a telly while I'm sitting in Spoons feeling sick at the thought of a large mixed grill
'Cos I one, one-nil
Emptying my pockets but the room's still spinning
Lend me a quid and we'll take home the winnings