Knock! Knock! (Who’s There)

[Intro]
We've played a million silly games
From bingo to gin rummy
But if you're good at puns on names
You'll find that this one's funny
So, when you next have company
Or folks start dropping in for tea
Just say, "Who's there?" and then prepare
To learn a thing or three

[Chorus]
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sarah
Sarah who?
Sarah doctor in the house?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Emma
Emma who?
Emma gonna have trouble with you?

[Refrain]
If you know how puns are made
Then you know how this is played
On your mark, get set to go
Knock, knock, knock—that's the phrase

[Chorus]
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Hiram
Hiram who?
Hiram I doin'? Hey, hey!

Knock, knock!
(Who's there?)
Allah!
(Allah who?)
Allah want for Christmas is my two front teeth!

Knock, knock!
(Who's there?)
Ray!
(Ray who?)
Racing with the moon...

[Refrain]
If you know how puns are made
Then you know how this is played
On your mark, get set to go
Knock, knock, knock—that's the phrase

[Chorus]
Knock, knock!
(Who's there?)
Don!
(Don who?)
Don be half-safe!

Knock, knock!
(Who's there?)
Vera!
(Vera who?)
Vera are you, you old bat?!

Ka-nock, ka-nock!
(Who's there?)
Hugh!
(Hugh who?)
Hugh who to you too!

[Refrain]
If you know how puns are made
Then you know how this is played
On your mark, get set to go
Knock, knock, knock—that's the phrase

[Chorus]
Knock, knock!
(Who's there?)
Toby!
(Toby who?)
Toby or not to be, that is the question, heh heh heh

Knock, knock!
(Who's there?)
Aloysius!
(Aloysius who?)
Alousiuth ith that you'd thtop thingin thith thilly thong!

Knock, knock!
(Who's there?)
Alice!
(Alice who?)
Alice M. F. T

[Refrain]
If you know how puns are made
Then you know how this is played
On your mark, get set to go
Knock, knock, knock—that's the phrase

[Chorus]
Knock, knock!
(Who's there?)
Horace!
(Horace who?)
Horace?

[Outro, spoken]
And there they go! It's Toupee going on ahead, Long Underwear has fallen down behind, and Toothpaste is being squeezed out on the rail. Toothpaste being squeezed on the rail! Hee hee!