Judas Iscariot

Now Judas Iscariot had a friend in the Roman guard
And they sat down to a checker game one day in the court house yard
And said the soldier unto Judas “Judas, I’d like to make a bet
That your gypsy sidekick Jesus Christ Is soon going to meet his death!”

Well Judas flew in anger and hollered at his friend
“Hey man, you must be crazy to think his life could end
For he’s the Lord's own chosen one and the Lord won't let him die.”
“I’d like to bet,” said the soldier, “that you just told a lie.”

“Aw, you ain’t got no faith”, cried Judas, “but just to show you where it’s at
For 30 bucks I’ll take you up to Jesus by myself.”
“It’s a deal, tonight at 2 o’clock.” said the soldier, and they shook hands
Then Judas left rather hurriedly, just to find his beloved friend

Now Jesus, he was with the gang, up in some garret room
They was drinking wine and dancing to a galilean tune
So Judas steps up to his friend, and said “Hey, let’s step outside
We’ve got a chance to show these people here that you won’t ever die!”

Well Jesus, he let go his jug and grabbed Iscariot’s hand
He said this wine sure is wicked stuff, I can’t hardly stand
And I swear I thought I heard you say that I won’t ever die?
That’s what I said, cried Judas and Jesus heaved a sigh

Aw, let’s catch a breath of air, he said, and once outside the door
They made their way to the stairway and on down to the second floor
Jesus, he filled up his pipe with a healthy lump of hash
And they sat right down at the foot of the stairs, and Judas struck a match

“Now you look here,” said Jesus, “I dun’ told you a thousand times
I’m just a man like all the rest, one of the mortal kind
So you can take these crazy thoughts on death and erase them from your mind
And pass that pipe, I do believe I’ve had too much wine.”

“Aw, but you don’t understand, cried Judas, “Why I just made a bet
With the soldier of the Roman guard that you can outlive death.”
“You did what!” cried Jesus, and there he lost a good lung full of smoke
“Yeah, they’re coming for you late tonight!” and there he nearly choked

“Aw, let’s get on back to that party,” said Jesus looking sick
“I got a lot of things to do and I’ve got to do ‘em quick!
We’ll get them women out of there and have a bite to eat.”
You could hear ‘em shuffling down the hall with the sandals on their feet

Well it was not long thereafter that the gambling bet was lost
For Jesus died a lonesome death, hanging from a cross
And down the hill and around the field on the far side of the creek
They found poor Judas Iscariot hanging from a tree