Oh the year was nineteen seventy-eight
(How I wish I'd never tried it now)
When a score of men was turned quite green
By the scummiest ale you've ever seen
God damn them all
I was told this beer was worth its weight in gold
We'd feel no pain, shed no tears
But it's a foolish man who shows no fear
At a glass of Garnett's homemade beer
Old Garnett Rogers cried the town
(How I wish I'd never tried it now)
For 20 brave men all masochists who
Would taste for him his homemade brew
God damn them all
I was told this beer was worth its weight in gold
We'd feel no pain, shed no tears
But it's a foolish man who shows no fear
At a glass of Garnett's homemade beer
This motley crew were a sickening sight
(How I wish I'd never tried it now)
There was caveman Dave with his eyes in bags
He'd a hard-boiled liver and the staggers and jags
God damn them all
I was told this beer was worth its weight in gold
We'd feel no pain, shed no tears
But it's a foolish man who shows no fear
At a glass of Garnett's homemade beer
We hadn't been there but an hour or two
(How I wish I'd never tried it now)
When a voice said "Give me some homemade brew"
As steel eyed Stan hove into view
God damn them all
I was told this beer was worth its weight in gold
We'd feel no pain, shed no tears
But it's a foolish man who shows no fear
At a glass of Garnett's homemade beer
Now steel eyed Stan was a frightening man
(How I wish I'd never tried it now)
He was eight foot tall and four foot wide
Said "pass that jug or I'll tan your hide
God damn them all
I was told this beer was worth its weight in gold
We'd feel no pain, shed no tears
But it's a foolish man who shows no fear
At a glass of Garnett's homemade beer
Stan took one sip and pitched on his side
(How I wish I'd never tried it now)
Old Garnett was smashed with a gut full of drugs
And his breath set fire to both me legs
God damn them all
I was told this beer was worth its weight in gold
We'd feel no pain, shed no tears
But it's a foolish man who shows no fear
At a glass of Garnett's homemade beer
So here I lie with my 23rd beer
(How I wish I'd never tried it now)
It's been ten years since I felt this way
On the night before my wedding day
God damn them all
I was told this beer was worth its weight in gold
We'd feel no pain, shed no tears
But it's a foolish man who shows no fear
At a glass of Garnett's homemade beer
Garnet’s Home-Made Beer was written by Ian Robb.