Dad part 3

[Verse]
If I'm being honest, I lost track of all our time
I've been in a blur since you had left us, on my life
Young nigga know Pop what struck me on my mind
[?] my Sundays Saturdays ask me you'll be fine (Is that actually?)
I'm not leaving, it's no choice to stay
You had choices on your plate but you ain't choose to stay
23 is no damn reason I should feel this way
Pop the percocet, they heal me but I feel the same
Still be praying I get you back, at the end of the day you still my dad
Could live my whole life mad, I could live my whole life finna black
As soon as I had my son, I knew no dad could do him like that
That's why I got a Cartier skeleton, 'cause I can't get that time back
I was roaming my city, I was thinking 'bout doing it, damn near made me mad
Took me a second, I thought to myself like nah I can't go out bad
What my mom do without her son, I gotta send home that bag
I put one in the head, I thank God he told me don't crash
It's ok, it's ok this how I feel
It's ok, telling God to take the wheel
Feeling stained, and my life remained the same
It ain't changed, just too paid
Took some losses in my life, this shit ain't fake
I ain't tripping 'bout what I lost, it's what I gained
Healthy son and healthy pockets, can't complain
If you met your grandson, I'll bet your choice'll probably change
Who the fuck I'm 'posed to ask when I'm having these thoughts something like you
I still don't talk to my sister as much, I'm probably wanted to
Been staying to myself, I'm in my own boat
I can't pick my phone up just to listen, I got my own struggle
My family don't seem to get it
They keep asking me 'bout these percocets and not asking me how I'm feeling
They ask me if I'm healing
Ain't ask you for no help, I don't give a fuck if I'm the villain
I was calling out your name and you ain't hear it
When I was crying for help, you were somewhere in heaven chilling