[ verse 1]
They call me the historian
Good looking like Dorian
I travel through time
Faster than Delorean
Got knowledge to spare
And I'll break you off a piece
You read it here first mate
I'm the justice of the peace
Heard a lot of barbarians
Spitting on bars
Their achievements
Their aggrievements
Going a little bit too far
First hand testament
Never can be trusted
My knowledge gets me so high
I'll leave you fellows dusted
Look: I got my books
Mad def rhymes and hooks
Stinking Goths and Huns
In their boots they shook
From Gibbon to Herodotus
Historia: Dominus
Illiterati step to me
Kick them off the campus
Humble servant of history
Some think I'm bigheaded
But even Attila don't know
Where this knowledge is headed
Truth be known
I write big trains of thought
You fellas be like mucky pups
Fighting over what can be sold and bought
[bridge]
Look at my knowledge
You don't get this from horses
You get this from college
Privately educated
All of you barbarian haters
Send you to your graves
Yes, part 2
[ verse 2]
Try to paint me black
I can prove you were nazis
Invading campaigning
Robbing raping rearranging
You tried to extinguish
The light of Rome
Horsemen ought to go home
As for me I'm in my pleasure dome
Let's look at Alaric:
For one he stank of blood and garlic
Frustrated ambition
Child of a harlot
Tried to take Rome
But all he did was sack it
Defect personality
Headed an extortion racket
I could talk about Attila
But Is it worth my time?
This swarthy Hun lacked
The motherfucking enzyme
Arteries clogged by wine
He couldn't digest
His empire fell apart
Probably incest
Theodoric
Oh my days
What a prick
How many ways
Can a pretender to the throne
Make a muddle
End up in a puddle
I'm not having a bubble
It's the bare truth
That's the trouble
Barbarians get their just deserts
I like Justinian
Not Hunnic yurts