Wilhelmina Waltz

[Intro: Narrator]
And now, if you would allow me the honour
I'd like to hand your attention over to our most eternal of friends
And most infernal of fiends
To sing an ode to love and longing
And to declare war against the frailties of mortality
Here, all the way from Transylvania, or was it Wallachia?
Is Vlad Țepeș Dracula and his Wilhelmina Waltz

[Verse 1: Dracula]
Oh, arise, my darling, I'm so glad to see you wake
It's nearly nine of the clock now, it's beginning to get late
So please, do come quick
I don't think that it's quite done yet
Before our blood moon rises, let us watch the scarlet sunset

[Verse 2: Dracula]
These crimson rays set my heart ablaze when you shimmer, sweet and pure
And the blood it pumps goes to another place
When you act so damn demure
"Harker" scathes far too harsh a cadence for a woman of your allure
Brand me forward, but I think "Wilhelmina Dracula" suits you more

[Chorus: Dracula]
So darling, can you dance a waltz in five?
One step for every fool that tries their hardest to conspire and connive
Van Helsing the Dullard, Jonathan beloved and the other three
Bah, blast them all, what need we of men
When we bathe in the eternity?

[Verse 3: Dracula]
Imagine the nights, the sights, the bites
The melodies that will grace us as time flows by
Perhaps in a couple hundred years or so, we will hear an ancient lullaby
That's lamented as a testament to the story of you and I
An era's naught but a moment to those that cannot die

[Chorus: Dracula]
So darling, can you dance a waltz in five?
One beat for every century I've killed, destroyed and defiled to survive
He asked for your hand, now Jonathan's your man
And yet, here you are with me
Even Renfield dare not defile a cat as fair and as tasty as thee

[Interlude: Renfield]
Did you call me?
Oh, hello there, Missy
My, my, you are quite pretty
The Heavens smile upon me
What God must I thank for this sitting?
Oh, you're concerned? Even perturbed?
You're not sure to take Master's word?
Well, between you and me, if you're seeking my help
I'll cut you dead now and save you the hell

[Verse 4: Renfield]
No, I'm not rabid nor insane
I'm the only freak in this shit-hole that's kept half a brain
This isn't a threat, nor a curse, nor the ramblings of a fool
If you value humanity, don't succumb to Dracul
He'll abuse you, he'll misuse you, he'll raise Hell on Earth to subdue you
Till not even death can undo you

[Bridge: Renfield]
(So if you'll forgive me, I'm quite busy
My skull's got a date with the floor this evening
And the silly thing won't bash in itself)

[Outro: Dracula]
Darling, won't you let me come inside?
Just say the word and I'll be right behind you to wake you
Good night