Galahad

The angel of the Holy Grail, saw Galahad come riding
So he took the Holy Grail off the shelf
And inside the Holy Chapel made for Holy Grail hiding
The angel could be seen to smile to himself

"If you're the great Sir Galahad, from now on," said the angel
"May all angels call me blessed of my race
If you're not the great Sir Galahad, I warn you, keep on riding
And if you are, I pray you'll let me see your face"

Galahad removed his helmet, said, "Good angel, look upon me
Fear not, for I bring tidings of great joy
For long years, the grail you've guarded, now you get to let me drink it
How happy must be angels thus employed"

"All the favors that you shower upon me, a simple angel,"
Said the angel, "Your benevolence abounds
Take your boots off, great Sir Galahad, for by your astounding beauty
Whatever ground you stand on turns to holy ground"

Galahad took off his boots and he watched the ground quite closely
And the angel smiled to himself again
He said, "I can't believe I'm asking, but Sir Galahad, please tell me
What is it that makes you want to go to heaven?"

"In heaven there's no lamb chops, Queen Guineveres for hand jobs
Marijuana, Kenny Rogers or ecstasy
No pillaging, no rape, perhaps you've come by some mistake to me
This seems more error than knight errantry"

"Now, what about the stable boys? I know you think they're handsome
Some of them, they think you're awful handsome, too
Sitting up in heaven, you'll still think about them often
When you're an angel, thinking's all that you can do"

At this, Sir Galahad got angry, "Angel," he said, "Don't you tempt me
I wish to go to heaven and not to hell
So when stable boys look lonesome, when the women call me handsome
I'll hold my virtue very firmly by myself"

"I guarantee you'll hold it often," said the angel, "Oh, one more thing
Before you drink the cup please take your armor off
I gotta carry you to heaven and despite what you'd imagine
I have trouble bearing heavy things aloft"

Sir Galahad stood naked and a pile of his armor
His boots and helmet scattered all around
His perfect lips they sipped the grail, his perfect heart commenced to fail
His perfect body fell upon the ground

The angel smoked a cigarette when he was sure Galahad was dead
He picked all of his clothes up off the floor
Then I put on his boots and armor, I laid his body on the altar
Put his helmet on then I headed for the door