It’s safe to say that nobody else, before or since, has opened a significant rock album by hammering the bejesus out of the capoed, open-tuned chord that begins “The Headmaster Ritual” before Morrissey enlightens us on abusive teachers in 70-80s England.
[Verse 1]
Belligerent ghouls
Run Manchester schools
Spineless swines
Cemented minds
Sir leads the troops
Jealous of youth
Same old suit since 1962
He does the military two-step
Down the nape of my neck
[Chorus 1]
I want to go home
I don't want to stay
Give up education as a bad mistake
[Verse 2]
Mid-week on the playing fields
Sir thwacks you on the knees
Knees you in the groin
Elbow in the face
Bruises bigger than dinner plates
[Chorus]
I want to go home
I don't want to stay
[Verse 3]
Belligerent ghouls
Run Manchester schools
Spineless bastards, all
Sir leads the troops
Jealous of youth
Same old jokes since nineteen-two
He does the military two-step
Down the nape of my neck
[Chorus]
I want to go home
I don't want to stay
Give up life as a bad mistake
[Verse 4]
Please excuse me from gym
I've got this terrible cold coming on
He grabs and devours
He kicks me in the showers
Kicks me in the showers
And he grabs and devours
[Chorus]
I want to go home
I don't want to stay
The Headmaster Ritual was written by Morrissey & Johnny Marr.
The Headmaster Ritual was produced by The Smiths.
The Smiths released The Headmaster Ritual on Mon Feb 11 1985.
Johnny Marr has called his riff what Joni Mitchell “would have done had she been an MC5 fan.”