Be Deutsch

[Intro]
Remember, remember
The 9th of November
Broken glass, fire and plot
I know of no reason
Why our very own treason
Should ever be forgot

[Verse 1]
Wake up, Deutschland, sleeping beauty
Can you hear your call of duty?
The world has gone completely nuts
That's why we're back to help, mein Schatz
Achtung, germans on the rise
But this time we are fucking nice

[Verse 2]
Authoritarian nationalist dorks
So tough with your torches and pitchforks
You are not the people, you are the past
The true germans come for you! Better run fast
Ten million bicycle helmets in sight
Jack Wolfskin jackets marching through the night
Birkenstocks stomp the ground
Munching Kebab and Müsli, earth-shattering sound

[Bridge]
Guten Tag, the true germans are here
We are xenophobic's biggest fear
You call for strong leaders, for fences and walls
But being like us takes bigger balls
Cause we are—

[Chorus]
Deutsch – nice, deutsch – liberal
Deutsch – compassionate, deutsch – considerate
Deutsch – reasonable, deutsch – social
Deutsch – temperate, deutsch – peaceful
(Deutsch), say it clear, (deutsch) say it loud
(Deutsch), we are proud of (deutsch) not being proud
(Deutsch), we are here to (deutsch) remind you
(Deutsch), That we have once been stupid (deutsch), too

[Verse 3]
Maniacs with wicked hair
Ja, ja, ja, we have already been there
Trust our teutonic expertise
We know where assholery leads
You have an election to vote for the best
But we see it more like an IQ-test (You failed)
We've learned our lesson, so take our advice
Hold together, try to be nice and

[Chorus]
Deutsch – open, deutsch – multi-cultural
Deutsch – modest, deutsch – help the weak and poor
Deutsch – neighbours, deutsch – tolerant
Deutsch – Grundgesetz, deutsch – Dosenpfand
(Deutsch), say it clear, (deutsch) say it loud
(Deutsch), we are proud of (deutsch) not being proud
(Deutsch), human dignity is (deutsch) unimpeachable
(Deutsch), you will learn, if even (deutsch) we were teachable

[Bridge, Jan Böhmermann, child]
We are no longer murderous vandals
Be nice, or we'll come for you in socks and sandals
Reserving your sun loungers with our towels
Vegan sausage in our bowls
Hey, you dickheads, take a good look at these legal citizens of the Bundesrepublik Deutschland in the year 2016
It's perfectly legal for them to do whatever the fuck they want to do, you stupid shit for brains
And do you want to know why, fuckface?
Because they're fucking human beings, like you and everyone else
Have you ever heard of the categorical imperative, asshole?
Read Kant, cunt
He also was—

[Chorus]
Deutsch – enlightened, deutsch – responsible
Deutsch – we cycle, deutsch – and recycle
Deutsch – Weltmeister, deutsch – forgiving
Deutsch – Weizenbier, deutsch – never forget
Deutsch – Fahrvergnügen, deutsch – freedom of speech
Deutsch – European, deutsch – unity
Deutsch – Fanta, deutsch – diversity
Deutsch – selfless, deutsch – we are germany (deutsch)

[Outro]
Not you, we! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha