Hiatus

[Verse: Joe Budden]
Two years, waits up, still sleep, wake-up
Girl gone, break-up, mind right, cake up
Friends came, friends left
Bullshit is endless, been next
Hip-Hop, really not impressed
Maybe just my love died
Sober, still above high
Slugs fly, eyes sucked dry, still a thug cries
I cried 'till I can't cry no more
Believe my own nonsense, I can't lie no more
Soul dead, breathless; I can't sigh no more
Wheels already fell off, I can't ride no more
I guess I pack up all of my belongings and just troop it
You know it's beef when a smart nigga gets stupid
Cause then it's justified, rationale nullified
Steven shot 8 times, almost thought my brother died
See he was raised different, I know his mother tried
His arms tied, I'm trying to teach dude to touch the sky
But still shorty wild, turned on by 40 Cals
Was young, never saw me wild, clutch Robert Horry style
No wonder I picked-up triggers to beef
I only ever fist fought wit niggas bigger than me
I never been the one to try and grab shit in my reach
Incompliant, you have now witnessed the breach
I feel like life is all written, understand my math
Got on my knees, told God I had a plan, He laughed
I mean... hours passed, no sleep, cowards get a slow leak
Showered twice the whole week, powerless control freak
Thinkin' about suicide, won't though I'm scrutinized
Life nigga; do or die, hood want 'em crucified
Jewelry on, fresh dressed, model broads excess
Phone calls, death threats, tell me what's the next step
What's what, who's who, paranoid as usual
Grippin' on my deuce-deuce, either way a lose-lose
All I need is one mic, razor blades, gun fights
Room without no sunlight, understand son's plight
If done right, won't seek and fail
I don't follow the path, I'm creatin' my own to leave a trail
It's no rhyme or reason nor reason or rhyme
No more food for thought, shit deceasin' the mind
Now they doubtin' my desire, second guessin' my fashion
Like bringin' of weapons of mass in when you question my passion
I live for this, not the Baguettes and the fame
Got signed havin' an answer, then the question changed
Sayin' Jump Off don't sound right is blasphemous downright
I astound mics, music is just what feelings sound like
So even though when I do it it's flames
For a while felt like I was makin' music in vain
We don't do it same, I use it for change
Y'all do it for change, I use it for pain
But keep doin' ya thang' Soundscan skyrocket
Build all this hype 'bout it, prayin' people might cop it
This is just my logic, maybe it's psychotic
Though labels try to stop it this is my antibiotic
So lemme' start doin' what dudes like
A nigga in the booth feelin' fresher than some new Nikes
Dawg, and I cruise like cruise control
Fuck that! I can't do it, I might lose my soul
Even though it should help a nigga to his goal
Would defeat the whole purpose
Naw, that ain't what Jers is
Naw, that would be worthless
Bars soundin' nervous
A nigga much deeper than what you see on the surface
I'd rather resort back to snatchin' purses
Finally understanding what the gift and the curse is
If I was more concerned about a purchase
I would tell y'all it's about to go down like bird shit
It takes courage, me versus urges
A wordsmith that got caught-up in label merges
And what's worse is, I been deserted in the circus
Up-and-left the circuit, it's dead like hearses
Sicker than them pedophiles workin' in them churches
That ain't the type shit I deem fit for my verses
Dawg, so lemme' help niggas understand Mouse
Dawg, why try to fit in when you a stand-out?
It's no album, but the money never ran out
Aside from rap, I'm kinda' focused on land now. (You know?)
Cause I don't know whurr' the game is
I know we jus' been attacked by a Hurricane Chris
Some niggas can't fathom what money and fame is
Or some niggas get it by usin' they stainless
Or some niggas get it, but they can't sustain it
Me? I'm regular Joe, I don't let it change shit